London’s bus-tling appeal

In what is arguably headline of the year and pun of the year all in one, Travel Weekly brings you the best things to do in London using the nifty London Pass for one whole day.

1. HOP ON HOP OFF BUS TOUR

What the dickens is it? The clue is somewhat in the title. It’s a bus that you can hop off and then hop back on whenever and wherever you like (within reason, of course).

Tell us the details Geezer. One of the most iconic ways to experience London. See the sights from the comfort of your seat as you’re driven through the streets of the city taking in all of the iconic London landmarks.

With a choice of a Big Bus London or Golden Tours it’s the perfect way for your clients to discover London’s top attractions while learning about the city. There are various routes throughout central London that link a day’s sightseeing together perfectly.

Beautiful friends take a bus tour in London

“Quick Shazza, pretend you’re suffering from hyperthermia. I’m taking a selfie”

2. TOWER OF LONDON

What the dickens is it? Incredibly, the Crown Jewels aren’t just a euphemism and yes the Queen has popped them on her head.

The Tower of London is so much more though and used to be London’s most visited attraction until a soft-drink-sponsored-ferris-wheel on the southbank of the Thames took its place. But honestly, we’ve been on the big white wheel and it’s kinda dull.

Tell us the details Geezer. Want ghost stories, giant codpieces, executions, mass murder, shallow graves and torture chambers? While this might sound like a travel agency buzz night, it’s actually all available and factually accurate at London’s oldest palace.

The Tower was the seat of King Henry VIII (the fat one with heaps of wife’s and an enlarged phallus), the place of Anne Boleyn’s beheading and superstitious ravens. For little boys, its enthralling and gory history cannot be topped.

Oh, and Braveheart got his gizzard ripped out here too. What more could you want?

William Wallace got proper done in at the Tower of London

3. TOWER BRIDGE

What the dickens is it? Sure, Sydney has the Harbour Bridge, but London’s Tower Bridge gives it a darn close run for the most famous overpass in the world.

Tell us the details Geezer. As one of the most recognisable structures in the world Tower Bridge offers tremendous views of the city. There is a glass platform for vertigo-inducing daredevils to wander over.

And of course, there’s the fabulous story of when the poms sold London Bridge to a rich American thinking he was getting Tower Bridge for his ranch at home. Instead, he got one of the really shit ones upstream that no one gave a toss about. Dumb Americans, don’t you just love them? And just to be clear, it wasn’t Donald Trump.

Colourful light trail created by the busy traffic on Tower Bridge, London.

Frikkin laser beams on Tower Bridge, London.

By now you’re totally pooped. But if you’ve still got some energy then there’s also these fab things to do on the way home.

A cruise on the Thames is aces and comes with funny commentary. A trip up Europe’s tallest building, The Shard is super duper. And if you’re really nerdy then you can go to a fan museum. Yes people, a fan museum. Those things you waft in front of your face like a lady to keep your bonce cool. They’ve got a whole museum on it – yeah weird, we know.

Anyways, there’s heaps of palaces too that are highly recommended like Windsor Castle, Hampton Court Palace, Kensington Palace, plus boy stuff like tours of Emirates Stadium (home of Arsenal FC), Stamford Bridge (home of Chelsea) or Wimbledon (home of crap English tennis players and broken dreams).

There’s heaps of other stuff too so check out www.londonpass.com. The cards can be bought for single or multiple days and will save your clients heaps of wonga. You’ll thank us.

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Email the Travel Weekly team at traveldesk@travelweekly.com.au

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