Meanwhile, mooted retirement presents for John MacLeod included a Big Mouth Billy Bass singing fish and a day clock.

Virgin’s HR team is drowning in paperwork after CEO Jayne Hrdlicka assembled her dream exec leadership line-up.

The airline has been on an absolute tear since coming out of administration, having increased its flights, gifted free thongs and now offering heaps of cheap fares.

Following these dour financials, Virgin Australia is set to be shopping at Fantastic Furniture instead of Nick Scali for reception armchairs and jute rugs.