Saucy insider goss from a flight attendant

Beautiful female passenger or flight attendant in international airport with hand luggage

How often do people really have sex on planes? Do you have to turn off your phone? And how can you secure yourself that coveted upgrade?

One flight attendant has spilled it all, in the form of a tell-all interview with VICE.

According to VICE, “Betty” works for a major American airline but wanted to keep her identity anonymous to avoid being fired.

Her most useful tip? Hot water on airplanes is a general no-no.

“Don’t drink the coffee on airplanes. It’s the same potable water that goes through the bathroom system,” she said.

“We recently had a test for E. coli in our water and it didn’t pass, and then maintenance came on and hit a couple buttons and it passed. So, avoid any hot water or tea. Bottled and ice is fine, of course.”

Besides the hot water, bathrooms are the grossest part of an airplane, according to Betty. Not to mention what people do in there – including pee all over the floor.

“It’s crazy how dirty people are on planes. They aren’t aware they’re in a public space and there’re other people around them. Those bathrooms are the most disgusting places on the planet,” she said.

And as for joining the mile high club in said disgusting bathrooms? If it’s on your bucket list, wait until the attendants are busy.

“On the bigger double-decker planes they have flight attendants whose entire job it is to sit at that bottom bathroom and make sure no couples are going into it,” the flight attendant said.

“But on smaller planes, for shorter flights, the attendants aren’t watching you like you think we are. We’re on our phones in the back with the others or doing our jobs.”

Betty has even been asked to join someone in the bathroom – though not as directly as you might think.

“I’ve only really been propositioned three times in the two years I’ve been here. They dance around it, though. It’s more like people get nervous and do the “ha ha so how many times have you been asked?” type of deal. “What do you say when they ask you? What would you do if I asked?”” she said.

But, being a flight attendant, “I have to smile and do my best to not look upset, no matter what the case is,” Betty continued.

With the most annoying passengers, she just ignores them – or does little things to make their flight worse.

“You don’t really have much to work with so it becomes a power play.

“I try to assert myself as much as possible and let them know I’m the boss by not giving them their orange juice with no ice or giving it to them with ice if they asked for no ice. Weak pours for drinks, stuff like that,” she said.

But if you’re nice to flight attendants, they’ll be nice to you. Especially in terms of a free upgrade.

“If there’re seats open in business class, and it’s not going to affect me negatively, or there are first class seats open and I can still eat my first class meal if I put you up there, I’ll put you up there. As long as you’re nice to me, no problem,” Betty said.

“That’s me, though. There are some attendants who get off on the power trip of saying no. But if you’ve got bargaining chips, usually in the form of candy or Starbucks gift cards, you’re pretty much set.”

And the million-dollar question: do you really have to turn your phone off?

“Nobody turns off their phones. I don’t, even,” she said.

“All of those commands are really just precautionary. You’re not allowed to get up when taxiing to the gate, but we’re going three miles an hour. What’s actually going to happen?”

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